Because I am Lazy

So yes it has been like six months sincc I have posted. Was I deathly ill? Was I trapped under a 27" screen tv? No, I just didn't have the energy to fight my work's blocking software or to boot up my IMAC, with dial up.... yes I am sad..

So I finally ponied up and bough myself an HP laptop with my Tax refund and sprung for high speed internet...so I may be able to post on a more regular basis...as long as I don't drink so much

Connecting To My Inner School Girl: or Where’s MY Stripper Pole?

Ok so I am a loser, and a bitch and I have to jump on the blog bandwagon. But like every other gossip whore I watched with baited breath to see what Ms. Spears would be doing at the VMAs. Yes I still watch MTV in my advanced age. It makes me cool. In my own mind I am.

I mean come on. Who doesn't have that little tickle of anticipation and horror when they see a mile long back up on the freeway. You hope that nobody is hurt, but you can't help but wonder of the carnage ahead.

Please I was completely horrified about the mother who tried to beat the train in Indiana and was hit by not only one train, but two, killing two of her children. It was hard to look away every time they played it on the news.

With the anticipation of a horrific train wreck was my anticipation of Britney's performance. But I had heard some good buzz about it. That she was going to SHOCK everyone. That she and that SUPERFREAK Criss Angel had something going on outside the sheets with mirrors. So I actually had some high hopes. Like that she might actually be able to dig her fat ass out of the shit spiral she was in.

So to my utter dismay and sigh of disappointment the following things occurred
1. She didn't bother to lighten her ghetto roots
2. She was wearing her boring bra, panties, boots and fishnets with her mommy gut hangin' out
3. There was no magic (I wanted at least a fire ball or something)
4. There was the repetitive bumping and grinding with girls
5. The stripper pole was not used by her
6. She lipsynched (not a surprise)… Badly! (surprise)
7. She danced badly (this the only shocking thing!) The girl used to be able to work it!

So I guess the big shock was that she had the girlballs to show up. I was even hoping for a good slip, fall, and head injury. She was definitely looking wobbly. But alas my inner naughty school girl was completely let down. I can't believe that I actually wasted three minutes of life for that whorish manic depressive lazy ass. I would have rather listened to K-Fed sing Papazao!

The Horror The Horror!

Well we had our first librarian meeting/chicken dance. We had to hire two new librarians, neither which are under 50 years old, or very warm women. Alas when I was walking to the building for the meeting I spotted another woman walking up to the building.

She was wearing the highest waisted MOM jeans I have seen in the last 8 years!! It was pretting horrifying. Not only were they mom jeans but they were green mom jeans...

And to my utter horror, she was one of the new librarians....

Sammy is the New Farrah

I had to stifle a giggle today when Sammy came in. Instead of the 80's perm she usually rocks, she has this weird feathered Farrah Fawcet circa Charlie's Angels haircut. Soon I am expecting a 60's era beehive.

Let The Witching Begin: or Get Over Yourself

Sooo it's been a long hot summer spending waayy too much time with my parents. Fabulous shopping has occured and new computers abound. T-minus 15 days til invasion.

Well one of our librarians had retired at the end of last year. She was in great need of retirement. She drove me crazy with her non-stop complaining and lack of flexibility. Well another librarian who has been in the district a while has risen in her place.

She's already complaining about the new computers and how the screen is so too small and is demanding a bigger screen. Shut up! Be glad you have a computer.

This year is the first summer I have only gone in once before school started. The work they were doing in the school has left my library in shambles. Plus the onset of these new computers breeds stupid questions. I just can't go in yet.

The only thing that is making me curious is the prospect of Sammy's ugly summer wear. I see acid washed shorts in her future...